1:30am: Someone said it was moved to Camp David. He must have been thinking about the g8. LMFAO

So as for NATO

Businesses in certain locations have been asked to shut down for a few days, protesters by the thousand, news reports of a back-up plan to evacuate people from Chicago if something goes wrong and hospital staff being trained on what to do in the event of a dirty bomb being set off. There is a no fly zone over downtown and Chicago is now a police state.

I think they're just creating hype in order to scare people into behaving. :) And at least on the north side it's quiet, could be a different world.

The protesters - they only show the idiots. The media is dead set on making americans look as dumb as possible. They asked one protester if he even knew what NATO stood for and he squirmed his way out of answering. Typical bullshit idiots who don't even know what they're protesting, just want to get in on the action against "something" trendy and feel included. Sad because there are people there who have genuine concerns (and know what those concerns are). lol But the media isn't giving them a moment to have their say. They're only showing the idiots who don't even know what they're protesting against. Typical one-sided bullshit that is worse in america than any place in the world, I'm sure.

8:44pm: So I spent my last few dollars on food for me and my mom, only to see her scraping off little peices of lettuce and eating only that as she threw away the rest. She's starving herself to fucking death and I'm supposed to just fucking watch. We got into an argument and then she said it. She said that she's overweight. I'm SURE she knew the reaction she would get to that, as she is well underweight - to the point of sickness. I flipped, threw things - shook her. I gotta leave before I lose my mind - before I go insane. She  said satan is using me to get to her. She's a liar, lies about eating, does everything she can to rile me up always reminding my of how little she eats and making little comments like she has to LOSE weight, talking about how she has to LOSE weight, when in reality she is so damn underweight it's scary - but THAT isn't "satan" trying to get at ME, to send ME into an EPIC breakdown?????? FUCK I need to leave. I just need to leave. God all FUCKING mighty I need to leave.

I wish my dad were alive. I wish I wasn't so damn alone.


And now I think maybe this is karma. When I was a teenager I starved myself to the point of a skeleton. I was angry. I started out obese and was treated so badly, every fucking day so badly, I just wanted to vanish. It was so hard to please people, especially guys. When you're a girl or women in certain societies you're expected to be as small as possible, take up as little space as you can, tiny, meak - I don't just mean physically. It was like people would take and take and take, and we were supposed to give and give and give, without regard to whether or not we were ok. It was almost as if i wanted to leave them nothing left to take. I got so sick of it and starved myself. It was almost a punishment for them, as if to say, "Here fucker, am I small enough for you YET? You like my bones fucker??? Want me to starve away those too for you???? Wanna knaw on a rib, cause it's all that's left for you. Happy now that you took it all?"

I wish, tho, that I knew then how selfish it is to do that. I do understand why women and girls do this so often, but at the same time I can now see the other side of it. It's said, 'They're doing this to themselves, not to YOU!" But that's not entirely true. They do it also to everyone who cares about them. Do they even understand what it's like to watch someone you care about kill themself over time?  But they want to worry people. They feel no one gives a shit, that they don't matter - so they try and worry people, almost as if to say, "Pay attention to me now, is this what it takes? Now do you give a damn?" And in doing so they little by little break down those people - mentally - as they force their loved ones to watch them starve.

8:44pm: Farrakhan and the White Man

For the last few days I've been listening to some lectures given by Farrakhan. This man confuses the hell out of me. During one lecture he literally had me floored. I mean I was fucking cheering at the computer screen as if I was actually there. He was so damn intelligent, wise, clear thinking. I couldn't believe this was actually Farrakhan! Yet, in other ways he is abslutely batshit crazy - and kinda frightening. I know I spoke about him and the Nation of Islam once before so I won't go through that whole long explanation again. But there are things, many things, that need to be said.

His views on social issues are, in many ways, spot on. In fact, there is much that I agree with him on. Yet, there is also plenty of absolute bullshit that no intelligent, rational person could possibly believe - or call good. How can a man who is so damn intelligent in so many ways also be a complete lunatic? Or is he? Can't help but like the guy on some level even tho I know he would not think much of me, what with whites being a demon seed of satan and jews being the church of satan - and both working together to destroy blacks. In the end, there is some truth here - we will get to how a white man might have achieved this, and the irony of it all. But later.

He spoke about freedom, about morality; he was right about so many issues. But then we get to the crazy shit.

So he believes that whites are of the seed of satan and sometime soon Allah will come down in a big spaceship and kill all the white people (and jews) and unbelieving blacks. (note the mega difference between his version and traditional islam) This is insane. Truly, madly, deeply insane. He's also the one who brought the idea to the mainstream population that Jews were not from the original Israelites and Arabs were not the original Muslims - blacks were both. This is untrue.

This man is so intelligent in so many ways and in other ways completely delusional. In some ways has understood "some things" about Christ's teachings better than most Christians. But he is only human and thus has fallen victim to his own anger. If only he could rid himself of his hatred for whites, he could most likely bring this world together and end racism and sexism for good. (he spoke up against both many times during the lectures) And if only he could rid himself of the primal need to indulge in one's own superiority, he could let go of the need to place onself in the position of superior, and thus truly follow what he knows, deep down, is true. He could probably bring a lot of people to the true God.

But he is angry. He is very angry. He's gone off the path of truth and given in to this false religion that allows him to turn the tables on whites completely while at the same time indulging in the very human need to believe in one's own superiority.

I don't blame him for his anger. I understand it. I would be a hypocrite to condemn him for it. And he is absolutely right about a lot of things he says. But he has let his anger control his life and override rational thought. So he gave in to this false religion instead of bringing together ALL people who want to rid the world of biggotry.

He, however, is not the creator of the Nation of Islam. He speaks of his teacher all the time, that being Elijah Muhammad. And even EM was not the creater of NoI, and this is where things get werid. This is where we see that, in the end, it always comes back to the white man. Everything always does.

The creator of the Nation of Islam was Wallace Fard. It is said  that he came to America from Mecca to save the black man. He was the teacher of Elijah Muhammad. Elijah Muhammad then taught Farrakhan.  It was later discovered that Fard has more than one Alias. A few being: Wallace Wallie Ford, Wallace Dodd, Wallie Dodd Fard, W.B. Fard...

Also, he had an extensive criminal record. And one more thing. He was white.

Fard was a swindler. NoI has  brought in a lot  of money thanks to donations from millions of followers, eager to be part of something that makes them feel better about their situation - to hear what they want to hear.

Did this white man know that he could make shit loads of money off desperate and suffering blacks carrying anger against whites?  Is that why he did it? Or did he have such hatred for the jews that he would do anything he could to destroy them, replace them, take away their nationality - that he would lead an entire group of people on the path of false religion in order to destroy another group. In the end, Farrakhan does not seem violent and he isn't telling his followers to act with violence. He believes God will do the dirty work when he comes down in his spaceship. Whites haven't suffered much from this except for a bruised  ego and lots of taunting. Jews, however, have had their entire heritage taken from them. So have Arabs. So have Egyptians. As have all semitic people.  And whites today? They go along with it for the sake of political correctness, helping to spread the lies. And blacks? Millions of them have been turned from the Most High God and have instead been lead to worship....some guy who rides around in a spaceship. Many have been harmed here - blacks first and foremost, jews, arabs, egyptians - so in a sense Farakkhan is somewhat right. The white devil deceived all. Ironic, though, how it all played out.

Next post: The white race - WTF?????

12:29pm: In other news
People are really losing it. A few days ago I got on the bus and walked into a screaming match between a few people. Made my way to the back (really the mid-centerish) to get out of it, and just watched as these people went for each other's throats - verbally. The bus stopped again for a few more people to get on, then pulled over for them to get off as they demanded. LOL Yup, "I'm getting out of here" is what one woman said, and a few other men and women followed her off as well.

So there were both men and women yelling, but one man was wailing on some middle-aged women and just kept calling her pig. Over and over again, getting louder each time and more pronounced as he stated it. Got to the point where literally I wanted to walk over to this male and punch him in the face. But then I heared what happened. I guess she sneezed without covering her mouth and he was upset about it. I can understand that. Fully. In modern times with so many diseases, and new diseases coming up, this kind of thing can be pretty dangerous. To be honest, I'd be a complete hypocrite if I got on his case for that. I've wanted to do that many times. Nonetheless, a few stops later half the bus got off and started walking - myself included.

10:20am: NO WAY OUT
So I just spoke with the manager. When all of this happened I had left a message on his voicemail asking to speak with him, and telling the short version of what happened, yet he never got back to me. So I asked him if he got the message and he said no. He said he saw our number on caller ID but there was no message left. I know the people on the Board have access to the office. I'm wondering if the woman deleted the message. Really, I'm trying to give the manager the benefit of the doubt. I know in a lot of ways his hands are tied as to what he can do. So many managers have been fired, or just walked out because they couldn't stand the Board any longer. I know he has to go along with what they want in order to keep his job. But God almighty, please let this man be legit.

12:24pm: Female liars = rethinking feminism

It's started to occur to me that maybe men aren't the whole problem. Here is what happened today.

A while back I spoke about that woman who came pounding on our door bullying my mom into a near breakdown. Today was another  issue.

I got in the elevator at the basement level and it stopped again at 1. The woman got on. I did what I always do and pressed our floor a few times. I don't know why, I just always do it, I've seen other people do it. Well....the way she looked at me I knew something was coming. She started in on how the elevator was old and easy to break.

(I knew where she was going with this. She is always trying to use me and my mom as scapegoats for everything going wrong in the building. She has always been nasty to me and I always ignored it - until last time when she started in with my mom and I finally, after years of taking this shit in silence, stood  up and  said something. But the point is, she's trying to build a case against me now, with one thing here, another there - based on false assumptions and accusations, so I needed to defend myself before it could go any farther and THIS would be tagged to her list of things I've done wrong)

So, I told her (at this point in a pleasant way) that I pressed it lightly and was not going to break it. She got that angry look in her eyes and again scolded me not to break  it, this time raising her voice and rolling her eyes, as if I was just being difficult. In rality, I didn't just shut up and take her accusation like Ialways used to - and she hated that. Again I told her I wasn't going to break it, other people have pushed that button harder than I did! She then raised her voice and went into another rant...and YELLLED so loud  in the hallway (she lives on the same floor) DON'T BREAK THE ELEVATOR! So  I yelled back that I didn't and wouldn't, and told her she's just trying to start trouble. She then claimed that I am the one trying to start trouble, which is yet another lie since I've been trying to AVOID trouble with her for years, thus I've kept my mouth shut to all her nasty comments and said nothing - for YEARS I've shut up and taken it!!!!!!!! So she makes her last comments to me while walking away and around the corner, smirking. Which means I had tor aise my voice again in order to correct her lies and nasty comments. How childish. Take a shot and run, don't allow the other person to respond. And how manipulative, because then she'll get on me for raising my voice. This is getting sicker and sicker.

So she kept raising her voice and I had to yell over her to defend myself. She will yell and cut people off so that they can't get a world in, which means only her side will be told; they don't even get a defense. Then she called me volatile. Now she's trying to make it seem like I'M the one easy to anger, ignoring the fact that I had to scream over HER in order to be heard! This lady goes around the building looking for people to bully, yell at, demean, and she fully expects them to shut up and take it, then walk away with their head down. If they fail to do that, she insinuates that THEY are the problem. She will literally fly off  the handle overy anything, no matter how small, start screeching and wailing and yelling like a man woman! But I'M volatile? She has no clue how much restraint and self control it's taken to ignore her comments over the years! Something she  herself could NEVER do! She'd fly off the handle over far less!

This is dangerous. For the first time in my life I'm glad I'm not male, or her accusations could have been much worse, since she could have said it was even more threatening coming from a male. This is kinda scary that women can behave that way.

This is becoming a frightening situation, as I don’t know what she will next accuse me of, what she’ll use to “tack on” to her case against me, and it’s as I said before, I’m afraid to do anything for fear of someone turning it into something it’s not in order to use against me - and I know for a fact I can no longer do as I’ve done in the past and continue to ignore her. I have to start defending myself and my mother. It’s impossible, though, to have a calm, rational conversation with her. She simply isn’t capable. To make it simple, I don’t know what to do.

I've seen this woman violating the rules before, such as taking her dog in the hallway without a leash, or holding the elevator on a Sunday - and let's not forget the time she damn near smoked out the entire floor by setting something on fire in her kitchen! I have never, nor would I EVER, say anything to her about violating the rules, as if I, or anyone, were to dare do such a thing she’d screech and scream us into oblivion! Yet I do something that isn't against any rule, and I get falsely accused and have it turned into something it isn't, something negative against my behavior. It’s beginning to feel like this building has a lord & master - she's it. She can do what she will and no dare speak up. We, on the other hand, are subject to her rule, continuous violation into our lives, her screaming fits and false accusations - and must endure such in silence. It’s getting old.  

She violates the rules all the time and I say nothing, no one will dare speak up. Yet I do something that is in no violation, and she ends up making more of it than it is, turning it into something it’s not, and insinuating that I could have broken the elevator - which I could not. Now I fear, since she has conjured this up in her mind, anything that happens with the elevator will be blamed on me,

I mean, people SHOULD be called out if they've done something wrong. Yet, we're talking about people building a case against someone on false charges - that is NOT OK. This is the sickest culture the world has ever known. Truly it is.

UPDATE

　

I went out and, when I came back, took the elevator up. She got on as I was getting off. I moved back when I saw her and cringed. I did not yell, I simply cringed and said "Oh my god" after having dealt with her before and not desiring to do it again. She made a nasty comment “Maybe THIS is why you don’t work.” I made a comment back, “And why don’t YOU work.”

A few minutes later she knocked on the door demanding to speak with my mother. My mom wasn’t here. She said she wants to speak with her and tell her that if I can’t behave normally in the hall way……

If I can’t. She makes insults, lies, slanders, falsely accuses, won’t let me explain myself or get a word in, and I've taken her insults quietly for years. And I was expected to continue doing that. Now I raise my voice to get any word in at all - and now “I” don’t behave properly. She tried to make it seem like all she was doing was attempting to have normal discourse with me, yet she wasn’t, she made that impossible. To her, normal conversation is for her to bully, get her way, without anyone responding. She then called me a freak. Then I really got angry and did yell, called her mentally ill, which upset her even more. She’s getting on me now for yelling, when it is SHE who yells over everyone! This is becoming a living nightmare. I tried to explain to her in a reasonable way that she can’t just go around bullying people, I even got angry enough to come back with my own rude retort, claiming SHE has nothing better to do with her life than walk these halls and bully people. But I know that whatever she says and does, I’m expected to shut up and take it - even false accusations. Or else “I” have done something wrong. Now she has threatened to slander me to my mom. Please, this can’t go on.

 

12:16am: Rock Bottom
My mom has this new "christian" friend she calls teacher. This woman seemed nice in the beginning, the problem is she gives the title of demonic/satan/satanic influence to anything she doesn't agree with, and anything that doesn't go along with her view of Christ/Christianity. Pity her version of it has NOTHING to do with the real Jesus, except the use of his greek name. Anyway,a few weeks ago another one of my mom's old "christian" friends stopped by. Frieda, the one who gave my mom egg salad even though she knew she was allergic, which ended up with my mom having to go to the hospital. So Frieda stopped by without an invite, which frightened my mom. Initially my mom didn't take the egg salad situation seriously, but now she does and that's great, but..... she's now going to an extreme. She's been paranoid about Frieda since she stopped by, even suggesting that she stole a cooking knife we had. While I admit Frieda is mentally impaired due to irrational religious brainwashing,  I see no reason she would steal a knife. And here is where things started getting bad. I noticed my mom not eating a lot, talking about having to be careful for fear of being poisoned. She's hesitant to eat anything, from the grocery store, a restaurant or even what I give her! SO she hasn't been eating a lot. I'm not a good cook and the top burner of our stove doesn't work (I even cook rice in a pot INSIDE the stove), so I've been getting her stuff from subway or McDonalds, whatever we can afford. But she is so hesitant. And tonight I tried cooking pasta (in a pot in the stove) which didn't turn out well at all. It's all we had tho. Anyway, she barely touched it, wouldn't eat it, and wouldn't even touch the cup of water I got her. We didn't have money tonight so this was all I could do, and she wasted it all.  First she asked if it's outdated. Then she asked if had ingredients in it that she can't have, then she asked where I got the box of pasta, and where it had been in the kitchen, was it out and around - then she asked if it could be poisoned. I looked at her in shock because I didn't even wanna THINK what she was suggesting. I responded by claiming that Freida didn't touch it, it was closed. I then started getting angry because she hadn't eaten much today or yesterday and she didn't drink much today. Wheen I commented she said she drank something this morning. Keep in mind it's around 11 pm at this point. And I asked her about her new "christian" teacher, and about comments she, my mom, had made a few times about "someone" telling her that satan was trying to target her and make her sick. Yeah I remembered that since she had been talking to this new lady she has become ever more weary about anyone who has different views on christianity than this woman does. So I came out and asked if it was about this woman telling her all those things. She got angry, hissed no and stormed out.

See....

My mom will sometimes play games, she'll comment loudly enough for me to hear, or walk past and comment, "I 'heard' that people who believe x,y and z are of the devil and satan is using them to hurt children of god.'" Or something like that. And you can't respond to this, because she "isn't talking to you!" No, she's talking to herself or god, so she'll let you know her opinion in that manner without allowing a response.

Then she'll make other comments as well, such as, "I'm overweight" and "I need to lose some weight" when in fact she is so thin her doctor told her to have icecream every day. Or she'll make a comment like "I'm so weak and dizzy" when she knows you know she has barely eaten all day. And you're not supposed to mention that part.

But she's old. I'm expected to take care of her and make sure she stays healthy. It's becoming harder and harder and I'm breaking down.

So here's what happened tonight. I asked her about the woman, and if she scared her into believing we are ALL trying to poison her! She became angry, said no and stormed out, acting as if there was no logical need for me to ask this question, DESPITE the slew of questions she had asked before about the pasta, all of which were showing her thoughts on the matter, which she was NOT trying to hide. As she was storming out she changed subject and played the "i'm overweight" card. She did this FULLY insuring a fight would follow. It always does. She plays these games. I got angry and told her she's not overweight, she's underweight. She "feigned" anger again, because she knew damn well she was  gonna get an angry response. I reminded her  that she claimed to be dizzy before, and it's because she hasn't eaten. She said it wasn't, that I have no clue what I'm talking about.....then she said "I'll get food myself, I'll cook my OWN food." I said I'd been waiting for that all day and she didn't. Yet...there was another insinuation in her words, her tone...again she is showing her paranoia - toward ME - yet claims it has nothing to do with what that woman said - even tho this all started with what the woman said and her paranoid rantings about "what she was told," which she made damn sure I would hear! The games. I'm breaking down.

I flipped. I just broke down. This is my mom. She's old, she's unwell. I'm suppose to make sure she stays healthy but she keeps playing these games, she's scared to eat, and I then understood what was happening. The new "teacher" had cautioned her about everyone, including ME. And I fed into it. The less my mom ate, the more I would cook her food to try and get her to eat - the more food I cooked her, the more it played into what the woman was telling her.....satan is using me to poison her. I'm  not a good christian like they are, my beliefs are different, I'm stubborn, refuse to go along with their views, argue - it all must be of the devil, and now he's taking his final stand because my mom is such a devoted christian. *And the fact that when she tries to avoid food I make her food proves it!"*

The reasoning is twisted, but it is all these "christians" are capable of. My mom IS being poisoned. This woman is poisoning her mind against everyone else. That's when I knew there was nothing I could do. I can't stand by and watch as she has so little to eat, but I can't cook for her either. I want to die. I just want to die. I can't take this. I have no one. I wish my dad were alive.

And then I hit rock bottom. She was manipulating in circles to the point where I broke, just started crying, throwing things, pounding the wall with my hand, screaming, "Why are you doing this, I can't take it anymore, just STOP  IT NOW my mind can't take this shit anymore." And then I said the worse thing I've ever said to her. I said, "FINE, if you wanna kill yourself, then just kill yourself now and get it over with because I can't watch this anymore."

As soon as i fnished saying that I broke down even more, fully understanding what I just said. I threw a chair at the  wall, beat my fists on the wall, and waited for the fucking neighbors to complain AGAIN. They didn't, and that's good, because I'm so mentally drained I think if our fucking neighbor (the human dog who sniffs under doors) complained even ONCE MORE I'd lose my last bit of self-control.


I don't know what to do. I love my mom more than life. She's all I have in the world. I don't want her to die.  Mentally I can't take it anymore. All I want is to be able to pay off her bills and amke sure she'll be OK - and then I just wanna fucking die. I have nothing left to offer her, if only I could pay off her bills. We can't get along anymore, she's content on letting these "christians" poison her mind - there's nothing I can do. But I can't stand this anymore. I wish I could just pay off her bills and go.

I have nothing and my life keeps getting worse, mentally I'm drained, physically I can't do anything, can't even face the world to keep a real job. I'm like a firecracker about to explode.  I don't know what to do, there's no way out and I'm losing my mind.

4:32pm: Better fuck off now, ya hear!
So this has been a hellish few weeks. About 2 weeks ago I got home and smelled something really bad. Walked in and it was coming from this apartment. My mom was in the kitchen dumping something NASTY into a plastic jug. Apparently she was cleaning out the fridge and found some soup there from a year ago but didn't want to dump it down the toilet and possibly clog it up. I freaked out because even though other people on this floor have caused mega odors, and a few years back one even burnt something and damn near smoked this whole floor out, they don't get in trouble for it. We do. Like the time I cooked curry and, a few hours later, someone has sprayed HEAVY stinking air spray right outside our door. Then the manager called my mom to say people had complained. So anyway, back to the last few weeks. I got mad at my mom for not just dumping the rotting soup down the toilet, then I opened all the windows. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. *I was waiting for that*  It was the building gossip, the one who shouted very loudly to everyone in earshot that the people down the hall have bed bugs. SOmehow I doubt they do.  The one who gossips about everything and, a few years ago, said to my mom, right to her face, "I know you're mentally ill." Yeah, she said that after a christmas party in the building my mom attended. I guess they all drew pictures to put up and my mom's was a bit childish. *ok, so she can't really draw* So the woman, who I will call Gertrude, looked at it and then told my mom she knows she's mentally ill. Right, so it was that woman who came and complained. My mom explained what had happened and told her it was being taken care of. It should have ended there. It didn't. Gertrude went up and down the hall complaining, which is when she complained to a woman, who I will call Sharon. Sharon is the building psycho. Anything can set her off. She does nothing with her life but walk the halls of the building looking for people to start screaming at. And not just screaming, but screeching. She can always be heard yelling at someone, including the building employees. She's on the condo board. About 10 minutes later there was MASSIVE POUNDING on our door. It sounded like the door was going to break down. My mom answered it and Sharon began screeching so the entire floor could hear, demanding entrance to the condo and bullying my mom, screaming about all the papers my mom has hoarded. I looked over and my mom was shaking, almost on the verge of crying. I couldn't just listen and do nothing as this psycho bullied my elderly mother to the point of shaking. It occurred to me then that I can't just play the idle, silent imp in this situation. For years I have ignored the nasty comments from Sharon because they were only directed at me. But  now she's bullying my mom to the point of a breakdown. I had to do something but talking doesn't help with Sharon, she'll just scream over you. So I stormed over to where they were talking, slammed my hand on the side of the wall and simply looked Sharon in the eyes in a very angry way. She calmed down then, called my mom sweet and then left. I wanted to tell her that next time she comes pounding on our door demanding to be let it, bullyingmy mom to the point of breakdown she better have a warrant in her hand and a cop at her side, or I'll call the cops myself, as I can't allow that kind of treatment toward my mother. The reason is that I knew if I got that serious, Sharon might think twice before doing such a thing again, and I don't want my mom to live like this for the reast of her life. But I couldn't. My mom hoards papers. She had old newspapers stacked everywhere from years and years ago, and personal papers she hasn't gone through yet and was afraid to throw away. I knew it didn't look good so I couldn't do anything. Sharon reported us to the manager, who is new because the board keeps firing managers. About a week later my mom was informed that she had 4 days to clean everything up because there will be an inspection of the apartment and if anything is found they will call the board of health and we will have 30 days to fix it. They were claiming the apartment was a fire hazard, and that much is true. But they also suggested we had beg bugs. (we don't, and they found this out yesterday. The apartment was cluttered but NOT dirty) So I went down that day and spoke with the manager. This is the first time I involved myself in affairs in this building. Initially it was said that we were reported for the smell (which had been taken care of) but now it's about papers. I told him that I will be reporting everyone on the floor for any odor there because we will get blamed for it. *Gertrude regularly cooks and/or burns food then opens her door for that to linger in the hallways. We get blamed, and of course she won't stand up and admit that it was her.* I told the manager that I'm left with no choice, we are the scapegoats of the building, anything that happens we get blamed for, thus, I'm reporting things right away. Later when I reported the smell coming from Gertrude's apartment he said that he doesn't get involved in the business of others unless there's a problem. But there IS a problem. Every time SHE does that, WE get blamed and now he's targeted US for inspection! Of course NOW he says it was never about a smell but instead about the papers. But earlier he told my mom someone had complained about the smell. Now when I cook food that doesn't smell like the all American yuppie dishes, I put a note outside my door describing the menue for the night.  In the end, he's doing what he has to do to keep his job.The board here has fired so many managers over the last few years, always giving some bs excuse and then slandering them to the residents once they leave. If this guy doesn't go along with them he won't have a job for much longer either. He's not a bad guy, in fact he seems pretty nice. I'm trying not to blame him for this since I know his hands are tied. Anyway, for the last few days I've been busting my ass bagging newspapers and bringing them down to the bin. Every muscle in my body hurts, but hopefully this is behind us. Until we cook something that the white, upper class, republican elitist "must always be proper" residents decide is unpleasant. Or until someone else does - then we get blamed again.

In the end, we will need some repairs. The bathroom sink is broken, water is pouring out of the faucet and won't shut off, not even from the valve. Because it's hot water it's causing the paint in the bathroom to wilt. This could cause mold so we'll need to get it fixed.

So over the last few days - it's a good thing I was here or we'd have lost not just the papers (which I admit had to go) but also our personal belongings. The manager asked the maintenance man to come and help bring some of the bagged papers downstairs to the bin. So the guy came and said he was going to be helping us do that, he brought HUGE mega garbage bags and said he'd be back on Tuesday to bring them down and that he wanted us to completely fill them, not just throw in a few papers. *Good thing he was coming back cuz the bags were HUGE and I couldn't have dragged them down* So we began using those bags instead of regular garbage bags, and then he came to the door again and asked my mom who told her that he would help because he can't, and that he won't even BE here on Wednesday! But wait, earlier he said Tuesday!  At this point I was about to hit the roof. HE told her that. HE was the one who came to the door and said that, and I reminded him of this. He then said no someone else said it to my mom. She didn't remember. So we agreed he wouldn't be helping and I rebagged the papers in smaller bags that I could carry. Later he came back and said he would be helping, no problem, he'll be there on Wednesday - with no mention of the conversation before. NOW, my head began to spin. See, in reality it's not his responsibility to do this, so I didn't mind it if he wasn't going to come. But I needed to know for SURE what was happening because he made clear he wanted the bags full, and if in the end he decided not to come I wouldn't be able to carry them down. This building is one big back and forth, say something and take it back, backtrack, deny and form a new argument. Nonetheless I filled all the bags and hoped he'd actually be there. He was. And it's a good thing I was. He came yesterday and I was in the other room. I heard him say to my mom that if he sees anything he thinks she doesn't need he's gonna just throw out. She was squirming and cowering as always, and I stepped in and said, "Oh no you won't." See, we DID need to get rid of the papers, but there's no reason to get rid of personal items. My mom and I don't actually have a lot of stuff, just papers everywhere. Most of our persoanl items consist of books and cds. And the day before he even suggested taking the BOOKS down to the dumpster on the grounds of "You don't need them." So we can't have books in this apartment either? Is this not our home? Our personal space? Should we change our furniture as well to match the tastes of the yuppie ass elites in this building? ANYWAY, back to yesterday. When I told him he would NOT be doing that, he looked at me, grinned and said, 'I can't do that, huh?" I grinned back and said "no" and that was the end of that. He didn't try that with my mom again and was plenty nice the rest of the time, and later when he came back to take the last load his entire demeanor changed. He then told my mom that she shouldn't have to get rid of her personal stuff just to please the people in this building, and that all she should do is organize it so it looks better. Nice change. "I wanted to ask him if the yuppies in the building should be forced to get rid of their nicnacs and doilies that haveno purpose but to collect dust. Glad I was there, tho, or my mom and I might have been left with no personal belongings except some family pictures. In the end, I'm glad for his help, he did take a lot of stuff down. Since it wasn't his job to do it I offered him some stuff we had just in case he might need it. He didn't need any of it and that's cool, I was just trying to show appreciation. I try to be nice to the people here and avoid arguments and issues, but at the same time, no matter who it is, the residents, the board of directors or employees, you have to set boundaries and then defend them, or you'll get trampled under the feet of these people who will attempt to dominate over and take authority over anyone they see as weak. It's a fine line that must be walked here, trying to avoid confrontation while still defending one's own limits and boundaries.


SIEDNOTE about SHARON: A few days after Sharon had bullied my mom, my mom went to a gathering in the building. Sharon was there, and told my mom that I had scared her, that I wasn't meant to hear it, that it was supposed to be between them and them only. LIAR! First off, she was screaming so loud the entire floor heard her and my mom was looking out the door for anyone, looking around in humiliation! Second, the typical american way of life, they fully believe they can abuse anyone they want, and everyone else is supposed to shut up and let it  happen. Well, it ain't gonna happen. Of course, in the end, even tho I get to play the bad guy now, it worked, because Sharon apologized to my mom.

1:30am: The damned
I think it's time to abandon ship, get out of america and not look back. I know Ron Paul hasn't won yet, but the positive responses he's getting from so many say it all. While I do agree with him on a lot of issues, including the fact that we shouldn't be invading other countries, his view on healthcare is not acceptable. Each man, women and child for themself. His view is, if they can't afford healthcare, too bad, it's their own fault, they make their own choices. He blocks out the fact that its not always a choice. Many people with pre-existing conditions, for the longest time, couldn't get healthcare because of that. Obama tried to change that, yet now RP wants the gov completely out of it, so insurance companies can continue denying people coverage even if they have the money to pay, or cancelling their coverage when they get ill! What happens then is that they have an illness that gets worse and worse for lack of assistance and, by the time they're rushed to the hospital, it's too late. And what about the working poor, those who have jobs but don't earn enough for healthcare? Or people who had good jobs and insurance but became too ill to work, thus losing their insurance? His stance is the same - let friends, family and the church fit the bill. Rich white man doesn't seem to understand that not everyone has rich friends or family, and churches can't pay for the expensive healthcare treatments (such as cancer treatments) for all the individuals who have no means of paying for such. "Let them die."

And then there's rape. Rape happens most in the poorest neighborhoods, where those women (or even worse, young girls), can't afford the monthly cost of medications to prevent aids, or to prevent it from spreading from mother to fetus. What do they do? Just die? And what about medical assistance for women (and even moreso for young girl) while they have the child? Refuse them medical treatment, even if it means the death of mother/child or both? He is against abortion because it's murder, but it's also murder if a woman is raped, forced to be torn open at the core, and is left to die from a dealdly disease, or dies during childbearing - it's murder that comes after long hours of torture, sick, sadistic and brutal. And if it happens to a young girl it's child abuse at it's worst. What about the value of HER life? The welfare of the fetus growing inside of her????? This man has no value for human life. That is perfeclty clear. As for choice - is it her fault for leaving her toom to go to school, or for leaving her room at all? And what about Elizabeth Smart? Was what happened to her her own fault for not being overly paranoid and putting bars on her room window so no one could break in? Is it a man's fault if he leaves his home to go to work and gets mugged, simply because he left his home? Unfortunately, given the declining moron value in the US, along with absolute no rational thinking, the answer in this country would be YES.


And then there's basic human rights. Ending any and all discrimination laws (taking it out of the hands of the government) means that people could deny services to anyone they want for any reason - race, gender, sexual orientation, religion and so on. How  about when entire groups of people are once again turned down for employment, for medical treatment, for services of any kind? The people who think RP will bring them freedom are fools who haven't considered all the facts.

This is why, at this point, I have to encourage people to stay far, far away from the US if possible. Vacation somewhere else or, choose to come here, of course at your own risk. You know the deal now.

It's a shame, too, because I do agree with him on other issues. Oh well. I'm done with America - the damned, Let them trade the lives of their family and friends who are ill, for the unlimited freedom they want, to do whatever they want, whenever they want. It's exactly what they're doing. RP knows how to work the masses. He promises them everything and anything they want. He promises unlimited freedom to certain groups of people (the rich white males) but complete destruction to the poor. (no he doesn't say that, but when people can't afford healthcare, they're pretty much history, and when they can be denied services and employment simply based on their flesh, they'll go broke)  These mindless shitbats siding with him are like kids in a candy store who are about to be given the run of the store to take and eat whatever they want. All the excitement, OH HOW FUN! Until they get sick, and no one will be there to help them. Or until the owner the store doesn't like their hair, skin color, gender, choice of music, and bans then for life and can legally do that. These people are high on ideas of absolute freedom, but won't understand until they need medical attention or can't get services or jobs exactly what they did to their country.

But then, at least he'll end overpopulation in the US.

7:03pm: Confused
So John Hagee once again used Paul against Christ, justifying denying the poor. And of course his supporters tried to defend this by claiming it was only in regard  to people who refuse to work and NOT about the poor who truly can't work. Yet, these same people label all the poor as simply lazy. In fact, regarding the  healthcare debate it's mostly the working poor who can't afford  healthcare, yet the republicans have lumped everyone in together and claimed that the people who don't have healthcare are simply too lazy to work for it. In the end, they  deem all the  poor as simply lazy, and use this to justify denying them healthcare, food and whatever else, all based on what Paul said and completely in opposition to what Christ said.

This is why it does not come as a surprise that Hagee now has denied Christ as the Messiah, claiming that he was simply a jewish rebel who needed to be dealt with, and was. But here's where the confusion comes  in. Hagee still claims to be a christian pastor. He simply uses Paul to justify his greed, selfishness and hatred.

I knew it would come to this. The mainstream church has, for thousands of years, claimed to be of Christ but fully denied him with their actions. Now, they have found a way to have their cake and eat it too. Take Christ out of the picture, while keeping in only the scripture, mainly from Paul, that is contrary to what Christ said. Now, they can continue to justify their cruelty, selfishness and primal need for dominance without even having to consider that maybe they're not following God. It makes sense  that it would come to this.

Tho, Hagee's comment was frightening. He considered Christ (Yeshua) a rebel who deserved to die. What, in the end, will happen to the people who still hold Yeshua as Messiah and attempt to live the way He commanded. To have mercy, feed and clothe the hungry, heal the sick.....Well, these things all get in the way of the greedy imposter churches, the wolves in sheep's clothing. We know from history where this leads. It's a little frightening, considering how badly the publicans treat those today who attempt to follow Yeshua. They make good seem evil and evil good. They claim Christ yet deny His word and work in opposition to Him, yet demonize all who attempt to do right by Christ as evil. If it's this bad now, what will happen later?

11:40pm: New attacks on transgenderd folks

Ahhh I finally have my comp back. Not used to sharing with so many. Been a crazy few days.

Anyway, I'm sad to report that the bigots of the world have found yet another method of attacking the transgender population, particularly male to female. Now, they attack the men and women who defend such, calling the men closet fags and the women far, far worse. In an attempt to reduce support of  transgender individuals, many men are now attacking women who support male to female transgenders, claiming that all women want is to feminize males. (yup, yet again these poor pathetic liars who call themselves straight males have attempted to turn themselves into victims, when in reality it is THEY who are victimizing the entire trandgender community and all who support them. That's how their deranged little minds work. They attempt to claim victimization by the very population they're attempting to victimize (in this case those born in a male body but switching to female), while at the same time accusing THAT population falsely claiming victimization, and once they've fully asserted that they, the straight males, are indeed victims, they then carry on to the next phase - attempting to undo and destroy their target population. Get that? They lie about victimization, accusing the very people THEY are victimizing of victimizing them, and then use THAT as an excuse to justify their attacks. And they go on. They claim all women call men liars. Now they've set up a situation where they, the men, can continue to lie, yet the women can't sayanything about it because it's already be asserted that women have no other desire than to accuse  men of lying. Thus, a woman can no longer defend herself or anyone else againstthe reallies because she'll simply fall under thestereotype of a lying woman trying to set up a man. How truly deceitful, chillingly demonic and utterly evil

I support the right of all individuals to dress how they wish. Women can wear pants, and yes, men can wear skirts if they fucking want. I will NOT god damn mother fucking feel guilty for support of fair treatment to all. And there is nothing these piece of shit homophobes can do to change that, lie, slander, demonize all they want, all they prove is how fucking pathetic and twisted their lying little brains are. Of course, worse are the males who attack women for claiming they have no problem with men wearing skirts (not the same as trans),claiming these women just want to turn men into women, while at the same time attack women who DON"T likemen wearing skirts, claiming they are hypocrites since women can wear pants. With these mindless ape beasts, no matter what you do they condemn you. They are simply looking fora reason to condemn. But these are so fucking twisted in their hypocrisy that they resemble vile beasts more than humans. I feel nothing but loathing for any game playing deceiver such as this.

This is also why I no longer have tolerance for weak and pathetic ass kissing bitches who will do and say whatever it takes to please the dominant male population. As opened minded as these women can seem, you never know what they will stoop to next, it all depends on the men around them. These women allow themselves to be bullied into going along with whatever the dominant male population wants and, thus, often times end up helping them attack yet ANOTHER group of people that don't deserve to be attacked. 

It happens slowly. A woman will be, eh - let's say pro-gay, defend the freedom and liberty of all, yet when the attacks come, and get worse and worse, little by little she'll break down (because it's easier) and start showing more and more support in favor of the bullies. At first it's just little jabs, as she attempts to justify the bully's point while still defending the target group. After a while it no longer works, as the bullies don't want a half defense, they want full mental submission. In the end, she becomes nothing more than their fucking mouth piece, parroting their views and spewing out hatred toward the target group, all the while making sure that the bullies are in full earshot so that they can see that "she's the 'good' woman, the one who's on their side, the one who doesn't fit their negative stereotypes." And she's now got approval. Good for her. Pathetic swine.

The human race, men and women alike, is nothing but a herd of hairless monkeys.

6:42am: Westboro
Westboro Baptist Church is a perfect example of a modern day reaction to the helplessness our ancestors experienced at the hands of a brutal, sadistic and merciless god. They claim to follow the new testament, yet most of their focus is on old testament scripture, much of which is completely opposite of the message of love, compassion, mercy and non-violence that Jesus spoke of. There sppears to be different "powers" speaking in the OT. Sure, some are kind, telling people to help the poor, have mercy and not cause harm. Other "powers" tho are far different. For example, one claiming to be god condoned genocide, infanticide, murder of all kinds, rape and so on. This is the god who gave his "children" commands to follow, claiming that if they didn't follow these commands he would punish them severely. Problem is, many of the commands are brutal, merciless, showing no value for human life - and his "children" were expected to follow such on fear of their lives. So they did. Further still, the "power" I'm speaking of didn't get angry at the israelites for killing, raping, or any such violent acts, no, simply for not worshiping him properly. In fact, the worst punishments that this "god" dished out came because the israelites worshiped idols instead of him. Such are his morals, or lack thereof, and the folks at Westboro fully believe that this is the one true god (even tho there seem to be different gods speaking, some actually having mercy) and must be worshipped and obeyed.

Is it any wonder, then, that they are so cruel? They grew up believing in this god, being taught by their leader Fred Phelps about the punishments and torture awaiting those who don't obey, and even some who do, dished out by this so-called loving god. What utter hopelessness! And now they go around spreading that cruelty, picketing funerals, tearing others down at the worst possible times, and fully enjoying the suffering they inflict by doing so. They are truly children of the god they follow, growing up with violence, being told it's a loving thing to cause pain to others, believing that the most high creator of the universe loved with a rod of iron, gives mercy by way of suffering and demands worship for this. Truly, is it any wonder their minds have become so twisted?

8:25pm: The Roman Games

As of late I've been thinking about the roman games, the great blood sport of the gladiators. Barbaric, sadistic and cruel, the colloseum was packed with citizens eager to enjoy a day of sport, where people were mauled by wild animals, lest they managed to kill those animals first, where humans, usually slaves who sought extra cash or even eventual freedom, fought to the death against each other, all to the wild cheers of the spectators, and where executions of those sentenced to death took on a form of entertainment, as they were tied to a wooden cross and torn to shreds by lions, tigers and bears. Oh MY!

But it is not so black and white. Many of those men were slaves, promised eventual freedom if they did their job well, given more money than they could ever hope for given their lesser status in society and, of curse, fame. The weapons they plunged into the flesh of others delivered a reward for them, and they, acting on natural impulse, did whatsoever it took to keep those rewards coming; they took pleasure from the rewards, even if they did not, at least in the beginning, enjoy causing  suffering to others. Just like the man who will have sex wit a young girl, knowing that later, when she is to bare his child, she will suffer miserably for his lusts to be fulfilled. He thinks only of what he desires, follows natural impulse, regardless of the suffering he will cause. In the beginning he might feel a little remorse for causing suffering, but he will quickly talk himself out of it so that he can continue on without feeling remorse. Such is nature. Plus, it's easier to shut off empathy, and the abolity for compassion, in a situation where suffering is severe and absolute. It's just easier to endure such things by turning cold and, thus, ceasing to care. Hurts less.

As I was contemplating, wondering in sheer awe of humanity how any human beings could be so monstrous, it occurred to me that they are simply doing what comes naturally to them, as nature is a beast, sadistic, merciless and cruel, without empathy and void of remorse. Are humans not part of nature? Aye, humans are at the mercy of nature and, back then, there was no modern medicine, there were no painkillers; human life was short and wrought with suffering. The idea that humans could inflict further suffering on others must have been a role reversal as, for a little while, it was not they who were suffering the cruelty of nature, they were administering it. Bloodlust, instilled in humans from the gods who claimed to have created us in their own image. Given how cruel and sadistic nature is, along with the gods who supposedly created all things, it was inevitable that humans would also become such as well. As they plunged their swords into human flesh, or watched christians being devoured by lions, for a while they could walk in the footsteps of the gods, being the rulers and not the conquered, mocking god through the further destruction of his creation that he, himself, takes pleasure in destroying. In all their cruelty, they became gods of men.
 

8:16pm: So a little over a week ago my mom was in the hospital again. After two days of tests  they couldn't figure out what the problem was and she was sent home. It was only today that she told me what happened a day or two before she got sick. Apparently, her "christian" friend told her that she, my mom, is now cured of  her food allergies, including her allergy to eggs. Apparently God told this woman it was the case. So, when they met, this woman bought my mom egg salad. My mom claims that, at this point, she told the woman that she didn't think it was a good idea to eat the eggs, and the woman said, "Oh, sorry, I forgot. But you're not allergic anymore anyway. (apparently God said so) My mom, not wanting upset God, ate the egg salad.

Sad thing is, these fucking false christian beasts will never be held accountable for shit like this because they do it in the name of Christ, and thus, society doesn't want to risk "pissing off god" by condemning the actions of people who claim to be of him. And of course, if anyone were to start holding people accountable for shit like this, they'd simply call it persecution against christians, and thus use it to confirm, in their own mind, that they were right with god all along, as "the saints will be persecuted."

So my mom and I again had a fight, as again I tried to explain to her that just because someone says they are getting messages from god, that doesn't make it true.

2:28pm: Western Garbage

Mom With Stage 4 Breast Cancer Denied Custody of Kids in Bitter Battle

Filed under: In The News

11:55am: Reverse!
Props to the muslim scholar for stating a few things that are fundamentally true. We had already cleared up that he doesn't agree with marrying a little girl, but the issue of marrying young came up, as in, a young woman of 16. The idea isn't popular in the west, but this man pointed out that our own ways aren't doing much to help humanity either. He was right. He said everything I've always said about the state of male/female relations in the west - and he didn't get torn to shreds for it, people actually agreed with him! He brought up the global spread of stds, the rate of young single mothers struggling to get by as the father of their child refuses to take responsibility for his actions and stick around (then throws a tantrum when he doesn't get credit for doing NOTHING), the poverty rate because of this....all of it...including the fact that so many of these men use women (and girls) like sex dolls and then throw them away, judge them based on physical appearance and  nothing more - and so on. He said a muslim man who is truly following Allah would never abandon a woman and child, nor would a muslim woman ever commit adultery with a man who is attempting to cheat on his wife, that a muslim woman is modest so that she doesn't attract the attention of men in a physical way, as men are more visual, and she doesn't want to take his attention away from his wife if he's married, that a muslim woman covers her hair (he said the full face veil is not necessary) so that she is judged based on her personality and not her physical appearance.

Honestly, although I disagree with Islam in general, some of the things they're being condemned for are a bit unfair. These things are not oppressive. I consider oppression a state of mental slavery, being gagged so that you can't speak the truth without severe condemnation. Women in the west are oppressed in that manner, they're not allowed to speak the truth about what's really going on without being condemned for it, slandered, demonized. I think that maybe some of these muslim women might end up having a positive effect on the west. Maybe. We shall see.

And wow, I go back and forth. But rarely is there ever just one side. It's enough to drive a person crazy.

2:12am: Islam vs. Farrislam
OK, so I've noticed a trend lately, that being the complete takeover of traditional islam. No, I'm not defending traditional islam in any manner, BUT - we need to differentiate between what it is and what it is not, and thus, avoid blaming muslims for what others do in the name of Islam.

There is a group of people who call themselves Muslim, yet they follow Farrakhan as a prophet, thereby pissing on the quran. It is an entirely different religion, beginning with the creation story. Islam's story of creation doesn't differ much from the mainstream judaic/christian version. Farrakhan's version, in short, has god as a mad scientist (from another planet) who comes to the planet earth to destroy the original people (black/african) by attempting to breed color out of them over time. (I guess he was angry at them, tho I forget why) Meaning, when a baby was born the light skinned were kept alive and the darker skinned were killed at birth. Over time the people became lighter and lighter, and thus less evolved than their original darker ancestors. The idea is that the lighter one's skin is, the less evolved, less capable and more primitive one is. In the end, we end up with a race of devils (white devils) who are so inferior and barbaric that they aren't capable of the slightest bit of compassion - which of course led to slavery. How clever! Now, i understand this is just retaliation for slavery, which was indeed a horrific crime (even tho it was legal - that doesn't make it right) but that doesn't mean anyone should take over someone else's religion and heritage, place themselves in the position of the original authors, alter the most fundamental aspects of such and then claim superiority over everyone else - including the original authors. But these angry blacks see Islam as the best weapon against whites, as Islam is a pretty domineering religion even in its truest form. Well shit.

Worse still...

There was this black self-professed muslim who just trampled logic so thoroughly it made my head spin, almost fulfilling every fucking stereotype to it's bitter end.

Twas a rant about Aisha - Muhammad's 6 y/o wife, who didn't didn't have sex with until she turned 9. I will give you his reasoning, and then my own opinions on the matter. He started off by ranting about logic, and that we need to use it, yet he is the one who so thoroughly trampled logic that any atheist would have had a mental breakdown.

"How DARE any of us condemn Muhammad for doing what was perfectly LEGAL at the time. The law at the time states he did nothing illegal, how DARE we claim otherwise! We are living in the 21st century, completely OUT of his jurisdiction, even from one state to another we can't hold someone legally accountable if we're out of their jurisdiction, and we're legally in a different country even, therefore we have no right to call him on it! Use logic!"

Literally, this male went on for an entire 4 minutes about the legality of it, jurisdiction, citing legal aspects of it on and on and on...trying to sound intelligent - but the issue is not about whether his actions were legal, it's about morality. Not everything legal is moral. Not everything illegal is immoral. Muhammad claimed to be a prophet of god and we're expected to buy into it. His character is of utmost importance. Just because something is legal does NOT make it right! Now, this male understands this "logic" when it comes to slavery, seeing as how he's plenty pissed off about that, denouncing most of christianity for it, EVEN THO THAT, TOO, WAS LEGAL, yet apparently, when it comes to his own, suddenly, if something is legal then it's perfectly fine to do. Oh, and because we live in a different jurisdiction (yea he said that) apparently we're not even allowed to point out the immorality in it. But we ARE supposed to accept him as a true prophet. lol

"You're just using what you 'claim' to be a sin in Islam to take the focus off your OWN sins. The Christian church has committed all kinds of sex crimes against people, and slavery as well! They KIDNAPPED our people! But Muhammad MARRIED Aisha. They we're MARRIED, so how can you call it immoral! How logical is that!"

1. This man uses logic in the same manner that the 911 terrorists us ethe word "peace." LOL The fact that they were married is irrelevant. Just because you decide to go through a ritual doesn't make it any less "fuckking a child." The ritual of marriage is only meant to make it seem less FUCKED UP. Take the ancient Israelites for example. In the Torah it told them to go to their neighboring peoples and kill everyone and everything, but keep the young virgins for themselves. Now, the apologists attempt to claim that they married the girls, so it wasn't rape. Right. Because when a group of monsters invades your village, kills your family and carries you off, you really WANT to marry them, now don't you?

2. Have other religions done wrong in the name of god? YES. But that is irrelevant to the issue. The issue is whether or not Muhammad was really a prophet of god, which this man wants us to accept as a definite YES. Other religions can be sinning all the fuck around him, but it is HIS person and character we're speaking of. Were the "christians" who took slaves for themselves truly following Christ? No. But their sin doesn't negates Muhammad's, and it's Muhammad we're talking about. When someone claims to be a prophet of god their character must match up to that. Since Islam is spreading like wildfire and preaching this male as a prophet of god, then his character is most important. But you see, this man has done what he accuses others of doing - he's attempted to take the heat off his pedo-prophet by attacking the sins of other religions (which no one there was denying in the first place)
As in, "Christians took slaves, priests rape boys, therefore you should accept Muhammad as your prophet and ignore that he fucked little kids because the sins of other religions completely negate any sin you CLAIM he committed by having sex with a 9 y/o! Plus, the term pedophile was a greek word pertaining to sex with boys, not girls, so LOGICALLY he couldn't have been a pedo, and therefore did nothing wrong." Logic much? And at the end, this man claimed that no one would be able to refute him, his logic was too damn good, and everyone else's just so poor.


"You're just a bunch of closed minded bigots. How can you condemn someone else over nothing more than a social issue! Someone who was married. And Aisha loved him! She wanted to marry him! Use LOGIC now!"

1. What this animal can't understand, or takes as closed-mindedness, is actually compassion, and value for human life. A child's body is not prepared to bare children. Back in the days when children were expected to have children, more died in childbirth than survived - and so did the infants. It was partly due to lack of modern medicine, as now lives can be saved. (until the far right takes over and uses their freedom of religion to deny mercy) But back then, the young age of the girls + no medical help led to more dying than living - and suffering a hell of a lot before death. This could have been lessened if the apes dominating over them had any morality or sense or compassion, instead of simply going after their own biological lusts regardless of who they harm - or kill. They only know what is natural to them, like animals, with no morality beyond that, and they justify it to themselves in any deceptive manner they can. It is compassion, mercy and empathy for human life that drives people to speak up against such things - not closed mindedness. A man who is truly of a higher power, and not simply acting on animal instinct, will treat others the way he wants to be treated, and avoid doing things that can harm, or kill, other people. And this is where the question of Muhammad's character comes into play. (OFF TOPIC BUT TO BE FAIR - it is not only muslims who are this twisted. I saw an argument from a jew who claimed it's healtheir the younger a girl is, which goes against medical fact, but he had to lie to justify his desires. He also claimed that his grandmother had his mother at 13 and she was fine. Of course, we're expected to take one case and forget the MANY cases of girls who die due to this. Like driving drunk, not all drunk drivers kill people but it's still illegal because their chances of doing so are greater than a non-drunk driver. But this jew didn't seem to comprehend, only wanted to justify his own selfishness. Now I know for a fact that the Torah was written by man and not god. Well, most of it. Some things, I suppose, could not have been written by man - such as HAVE MERCY!) But back to the topic...

2. Little Aisha was so traumatized that for the first few years after her mother (CUNT!) handed her over to him, she was quite ill, so ill that all her hair fell out. (stress) That's why he didn't have sex with her until she turned 9. Oh, but he did have compassion in one manner - he let her keep her toys! YAY! See how kind he was! Also, she lucked out and was unable to bare children. One man suggested this was due to the fact that her body, at the age of 9, was too underdeveloped to even have sex safely and Muhammad destroyed her uterus. (Makes sense, as not too long ago a 12 or 13 y/o girl died 3 days after she was married due to a punctured uterus) And the males involved? "Ah, it's natrual" they said, it happens. No care for the girl, nor anyone but their own biological desires.


Of course, this is all in contradiction to what one arab muslim said. He claimed that there is a difference between genuine Islam and the Islam created by traditions of men. In that, he said Moohamhead didn't actually have sex with Aisha until she turned 16, that much was mistranslated in interpretation, and that the only reason it was mistranslated was so that men, based on their own lusts, as opposed to god's will, could have their own selfish needs met - and that we shouldn't believe everything we hear, as every religion has it's radicals that misuse it for their own benefit.

I know not whether this man was being honest. But it makes sense. PLus, he speaks arabic, reads the quran in arabic and has been studying it since childhood, unlike the other male, who didn't grow up with it, barely understands arabic, and simply is posing as a muslim.

It's hard tho, when one person says one thing and another says something different. I so badly want to believe the muslim scholar, am trying not to hate the entire religion based on what one animal said. But...it's hard.


So....if the muslim scholar is correct, then I humbly apologize to all genuine muslims for insultiung the name of their prophet. I take it all back and fully repent. But that is IF, and only IF.

6:37pm: They want him out at any cost - all this is about
So most sane people assumed that once Obama produced his birth certificate, the GOP would back down, admit they were wrong, that he IS a US citizen, and apologize for accusing him of being born outside the US, thus deserving of being kicked out of office. Well, we were all idiots. Really, I don't know why any of us thought the false church (GOP republican party) would ever be honest. Now, many are claiming it's a fraudulent document, and still others refuse to admit to their mistake and apologize, but instead move on to any other issue they can find to attack him. Such as shown in the repost from AOL news below:




"Lawrence O'Donnell had a wild, high-decibel, nearly incomprehensible interview on his Wednesday program with so-called "birther queen" Orly Taitz, at whom he grew so enraged that he cut the interview short halfway through.

O'Donnell had brought Taitz on in the wake of President Obama's release of his long form birth certificate. O'Donnell wanted to see if Taitz would finally admit that her doubts about Obama's citizenship were false. Taitz, however, had other plans, and began holding up what she said was a copy of Obama's Selective Service papers and accusing him of committing Social Security fraud.

In response, O'Donnell began shouting over and over again, "will you talk about his birth certificate?!" Taitz, no stranger to television hosts shouting at her, continued implacably, not letting O'Donnell's fury interrupt her. Finally, O'Donnell simply ended the interview. "Alright that's it," he shouted. "Get her out of here. Get her off this show!" Turning to the camera, he addressed the viewers.

"Look, she's crazy," he said. "I invited a crazy person on this show to see if the crazy person...could say something responsive, something human, to the document that was released today...and she wants to play with all of her other kid's toys.""

WATCH:

8:09am: Woe is me
I'm losing all faith in any kind of religious teaching. It's not that I'm an atheist, I'm not. No, I'm agnostic as always. I do believed what Christ supposedly said is true; I just don't buy into what the mainstream church teaches about him. However, how can I even know what is and is not true about him. The bible can no longer be taken as a legitimate source of information, nor can any so-called holy book. I see what the people do today, scribbling down their own views, laden with their own opinions, likes, dislikes and hatred, telling half truths and even flat out lying in order to support their own agenda, twisting facts to their own outcome, falsely accusing people, calling it the word of God, or prophesy, and then claiming that all must accept it or burn in hell. I've also seen this happen in a non-religious manner - with a similar outcome - the silencing of opposition by way of "All must accept it, or be slandered, harassed, stalked, defamed and have their lives utterly destroyed." How can anyone be sure this garbage hasn't been happening all along? How can anyone be sure that the books they accept as "the word of god" aren't just man made, or at the most, some laws from a higher power mixed in with interpretations and extra opinions of men being passed off as god's word because it's all in one book together? I've seen it happen so many times, lying, half truths that are meant to lead to a false conclusion about a situation or person, false accusations, slander, dehumanization - the biggest bully, the most vicious mind gets the final say - and the world accepts it if it comes from popular opinion. So it sticks, and that's what is passed down and remembered. I've seen men so vicious spew out lie after lie to support their own agenda, berate, demonize and even threaten into silence anyone who would dare oppose them - and other people willingly go along with it - men and women alike. Aye, I've lost all faith in any book written by the hand of man calling itself divine. I do, tho, still have at least a shred of remaining faith that Christ was legit - even if we don't know everything about him, tho I can't say I'm capable of following his word. My mind has already been too seared.

2:33pm: Hypocrites
So this guy was ragging on jews, all jews, because something in the talmud claims that jews have the right to rule over gentiles. Now, while I agree it's bullshit, that no one has the right to rule over someone else based on bloodline or any physical feature, this man is a complete hypocrite, as then went into a rant about how women should not have any authority in society. So he doesn't like it when a group of people claims that he, because of his flesh, shouldn't have authority and should be ruled over, yet he has no problem doing the same to others - then he wonders why he's hated by those he wants to dominate over. And of course he uses Christ to justify this, the very Christ who said "Don't do unto others as you would not want others to do unto you." Right. Same man who demanded full authority over women, claimed god would never put a woman in authority or allow her to preach, demanded they submit to this willingly and should like it, then goes on to claim that women who want to preach the word of god just want power and are all false prophets. LMAO Stupidity (and hypocrisy)should be illegal. WHO wants power? WHO is using God to justify their own selfish need for dominance over all things and people???????? And that's the mindset of these apes - they demand full authority over women (or whatever race they've decided is somehow lesser) and then, when they get an an argument, throw a tantrum and claim that they are being denied THEIR rights and, of course, it must be of satan that they're not allowed to indulge in their primal need to dominate. lol So the cavemen who wrote the talmud used God to justify their dominance and authority over gentiles, and to deny gentiles all rights. The quran uses god to justify their dominance over all non-muslims - and this guy hates both of these, as he doesn't want anyone dominating over him and robbing him of his freedom. Yet he then turns around and uses god to justify his dominace over all women, to the point that women should have no rights on any level - and then claims Christ as his god, Christ, who said, "Don't do unto others what you would not want others to do unto you." I wonder if electrocution would help zap this man's brain into functioning. He gives the title of false prophet to any woman who speaks the word of Christ (even tho Paul said women could prophesy), yet he himself creates his own rules, having nothing to do with Christ, yet doesn't consider himself a false prophet. Typical false prophet giving the title of false prophet to anyone who says something he doesn't like, and it's all based on his own primal instinct which he projects onto God in order to justify his actions.

Strange enough, while this man claims to be christian he is also against religion, claims that people in the manmade church are using fear tactics (such as threat of hell) to keep everyone else in line. Now this is true, yet he then goes on to do the same bloody thing, using fear tactics such as "hell" to keep people in line, meaning, doing and saying what he wants, based on his own version of Christ that he created to justify his own lust. He even calls people who disagree with him of the devil.

It always leaves me wondering if people such as this are aware of their own hypocrisy and simply hope that others are dumb enough to buy into it, or whether they're just too brain dead to understand that flaws in their own reasoning. He got angry at some quote in the talmud calling gentiles stupid. Well, I'm angry about that as well, but when they pull shit like this, well.... LMAO

He also claims that Hitler was of God, sent to punish the jews for their wickedness. Well, I say Islam, then, is from God, and their attack on Christianity is meant to punish the self-professed Christians for their wickedness and hypocrisy. Show them what it's like to be faced with a group that believes God gave it a right to dominate over and make slaves of all others, men and women alike. Afuckingmen.

But as for women...

Sad thing is, women really just want approval from men. They'll do and go along with whatever it takes, regardless of how wicked and destructive, in order to get that approval from the dominant group of men around them. Makes me wonder if they should be anywhere near this war with Islam.

As for the jews, their horrid god of doom and destruction has caused their own downfall. The cavemen wandering the middle-east 6000 years ago weren't careful with their ramblings, wrote down their own desires, claimed such were of God, then went out to the world and gave other wicked people justification to act on their own wicked and selfish desires for domination. The end result - slavery of other races, sex/marital slavery of women, including forced breeding and so on. Now, a group of people who are truly of a higher power would never go along with such things, even if someone told them it was OK by some God. Those who go along with this garbage are STILL responsible for their own actions and wickedness, yet the jews, in some way, are also to blame, for they should never have set out onto the world such a flaming pile of shit as their so-called holy book, which is as bad as the quran.

7:31pm: Government Shutdown
So the republicans are at it again, threatening a complete government shutdown if Obama doesn't give in to their demands. Of course, most of their demands are that medical care and all other programs for the poor are cut or even stopped. (they claim to want to end abortion but these laws do the opposite, taking even more help from women and young girls who are poor and in need) And ya know what? Come election time these same republicans are going to go on and on about how Obama hasn't accomplished anything, despite the fact that they're binding his hands and feet in barbed wire and doing everything they can to stop his progress toward a more civil country.

A complete government shutdown. Fuckers.

2:25am: Funny how a religion that calls women "overly emotional" for standing up against honor killings, mandatory garbage bag body covers, and the complete denial of their human rights, will then turn around and sue the crap out of anyone who offends IT! Yes, a muslim man can claim that a woman should have less freedom than a man, even no freedom, and that if she wants medical aid she must first ask her father for permission (which is nothing but degrading), yet fully expect women to go along with this happily, lest they be called overly emotional. Yet this same man will sue anyone for speaking a word against his own beliefs. Worse, there are the muslims who threaten to kill anyone who offends their prophet, yet they make far worse statements about people and fully expect those individuals to shut up and take it, using their "freedom of speech" to justify. I guess they're the only ones with freedom of speech. Now. Oh well, at least the false christian far right is about to get a taste of their own medicine. Still, we're all gonna suffer for this. damn it. Apparently calling for the execution of homosexuals, honor killings of women and girls who've been raped, complete deprivation of human rights of women AND stoning of apostates is not a hate crime, yet pointing out the evil in such things is and can now get someone arrested. Great folks, just great.

12:58am:

7:58pm: Stupid Apes
When people indulge in their primal desire to dominate, to take what they want any any cost to the lives of others, to lie and manipulate in order to get their way and silence those who would speak up in opposition, and to destroy whatever gets in their way, the end result will be disastrous. Now, with a nuclear world, their last chest thump for dominance can easily wipe out everyone. Of course, the apes themselves will also lose out, as they will no longer have anything or anyone to dominate over, as they will have destroyed everything and everyone in their initial attempt at domination. In the end, they lose even what they had to start with. If humanity doesn't evolve past this soon, we will lose everything. To do that, tho, they must deal with the real issues and the real threats, instead of scapegoating people who have nothing to do with it simply to fit their own agenda. Those who refuse to deal with the real issues and instead attempt to place the blame on everything and everyone but the true threat, well, they are just as much to blame when disaster strikes, as their own divergence from the actual threat lead to the ongoing problem. We have white priders blaming everything on jews and blacks, we have primal males blaming everything on women - claiming that if the rights of women are taken away all will be fine. These animals ignore the actual facts, that these crimes are being committed by men - and when we get nuclear, the threats are being committed by arab men - not blakcs, not jews. Ignore the facts and attack a strawman, the real threat will continue, and it is the fault of all who attempted to take the heat off the actual threats by placing blame in other directions.



"CHICAGO (CBS 2) – The threats came in the mail and to date, there have been 25 letters that warn of nuclear bombs destroying America.

People who got them called the FBI and CBS 2′s Kristyn Hartman learned, the Bureau’s Chicago office is leading the investigation.

FBI Special Agent Andre Zavala said, “Yes, they alarmed a lot of people.”


Attorney Tracy Rizzo was alarmed. A number of days ago, an envelope, with a Chicago postmark and a hand-written address to her private investigations firm, came in the mail.

LISTEN: Newsradio 780′s Dave Marsett reports





The letter inside said, “The Al-Qaeda organization has planted 160 nuclear bombs throughout the U.S. in schools, stadiums, churches, stores, financial institutions and government buildings.” It also said, “This is a suicide mission for us.”

The writer, who claims to be Osama Bin Laden, tells the reader the nukes are remotely controlled. “It was clear the writer wanted to scare me,” said Rizzo, “Yes, it frightened me.” Rizzo was one of eight people in the Chicago area to contact the FBI.

Agencies in Oregon, California, Texas and Florida also got the letter with the Chicago postmark.

“There are items in the letter that lead us to believe it is a hoax,” said Zavala. “There are several demands documented that aren’t fully coherent.”

He said much of what’s in the message doesn’t add up, but in a post 9-11 world, the FBI can’t let it go – even if it does appear to be a hoax.

“The FBI investigates every element. We can’t take that chance,” said Zavala.

So, why the threats?

The writer alluded to how families in Afghanistan have to live. The FBI said it will find that writer, and when it does, he could face 5 to 10 years in prison for each letter mailed. Anyone who’s received a similar letter should call the FBI."

10:24pm: Pedo
So this guy made a statement that most homosexuals are child molesters. I see it the other way. Just because "hetero" men decided to call sex with a 9-12 y/o legal and godly so long as they "marry" her, it is still nothing but pedo filth. They simply use god and marriage to justify an otherwise selfish and primal thing. Yet others use "nature" to justify forcing a child into sex. THAT happens far more than homosexual pedo behavior. It's just not considered wrong because it's socially acceptable. Kind of like legalized murder isn't considered murder if a legal reason is given.